'Can I give it into your hands now? Please...'
*chuckles* " finally!"
'What?'
"well, we've been waiting for that for so long now... you've been pretty busy grieving and stuff..."
'I still do.'
'I know'
'It's not like you have any pitty, do you?'
"sweetheart, it sounds cliche but it really is what you need and not what you want"
'I hate that thought. see his eyes. see this. this picture with the little girl. he is the best. he would have...'
"no would have anymore, do you get that. what about giving it up now?'
'well, hm, unhm, okay, so I feel like I have to give it UP, up meaning, up to YOU guys up there. I can't play the healer or the maker or the creator, I realized that. I fucked up, mightily'
*chuckles* 'as you please, kid!'
'well, didn't I?'
"oh child, if you only knew. this is the world...."
'I am grateful for great music. For Bob Dylan for example. Lay Lady Lay still makes me happy although it should make me so sad'
"it's there for you to feel it. don't talk anymore kid. miss him in the middle of the night and get up and become the strong woman you are. Create inner space that enables you to shine bright like the sun you are.'
"i so badly wanted to hold him"
'are you a human or an angel? hm? who is the angel here?"
'but.. he said,.... he said, I was his angel!'
*laughs out loud* 'oh, children...children..... he will be fine. he will be all good. he is on his way don't worry. and you will meet him again when it is right."
'you sure"
'dont question me."
'okay, i go to sleep now. do you want me to sing a song for you?'
'yes sing the one you always sang, i like that"
"to your service" *smiles silently*
"don't forget to pray"
"I won't"
because I love you
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