Yes or No

I lied.
"Do you think he is the right one?"
"Well,..."
"YES OR NO!"
"n-n-n-o"
"See! Was that that difficult?"

Maybe. I used to be a maybe person when I first met you. You said, when you meet the one it's as if sth crashes on your forehead from way above. It hits you. I wonder whether I got hit. I don't know. I know that I followed my heart and did everything I could to be with you. I fell in love with you one day, it happened slowly. It wasn't like I ran into a train. When it happened though I was the happiest and most excited person on earth. But isn't that normal?

Maybe. I had a vision of my daughter almost half a year before I met you. She looked like your child. She skipped along the road to my left side and reached her little hand out to put it in my mine. When we were together her name came to me one day. I just knew it, staring at you, and her presence was very powerfully tangible around us. The moon shone down on us, as we were lying on the beach on a simple blanket I had taken with us from my sister's house. Our bodies intertwined, like we were the first and last human beings on earth, the ocean next to our side, teaching us the rhythms of life.
I looked deep into your black eyes and it was so sacred a moment that I could only whisper: "You know, it is strange, but I know that if we made love right now, I would get pregnant" You looked at me and you said simply "I know". "She would be a girl" I whispered and your eyes welled up and you said again "I know". We both felt it, it was crazy. Oh well.

Does that mean you are the ONE?
You felt that way about me. I felt that we could work this out. I felt that I could have a family with you. But you were so young, there were so many things that needed to grow first. I need to grow up. Can you tell whether someone is the one when you are in love like this? Can you tell whether someone is the one when you need to grow up first?
I don't know.

All I know is, that when I came home from a marathon encounter from one of the 'Funky Brothers' Motown guitar players I had to lay down in bed, put the blanket over my head, listen to my favorite Bob Dylan songs and cry. The tears trickled only slowly through my eye lids that I pressed firmly together. They felt like sweet dew after a long night. I lay there in the dark and whispered into the messy room: "Damnit. I lied... And I miss you so"
Damn do I miss you.