looking into the dark

The streets pass by swiftly like a whirlwind of dreams in a caleidoscope of life. We only see hundred feet or so ahead, the lights cut through the dark and I hold a child in my arms, he is sleeping, his head against my shoulder and breast. I hold him and look forward into the dark. A feeling of purpose intrinsically connected to children running through my beat up soul. You are gone and faint and your once so strong voice only fills the spaces of my dreams with whispers now.
So many things that I still can't understand but who to blame. There is a new life waiting for me, and I am racing towards it with my nephew in my arms, carrying him into the house like a precious treasure that I found at the bottom of the ocean of sorrows. He sleeps so innocently and so sweet, it makes me smile. It always makes me smile when I want to cry.