long

anything that takes too long, takes too long.
that's it in a nutshell, right there.
life is twisting and I have a hard time keeping up with the events rolling and unrolling and folding and unfolding in front of my eyes. Sometimes I am sleeping, just listening to music. But in reality I am losing. Losing expensive seconds. Losing, lost, loser. However, even that doesn't touch me anymore. It's as if I was emotionally shut down, in a very smooth and cool way, not hurting, just being what it is. Nothing can bother me really like that anymore. My body has to buckle up now and take on everything. A cold, hurting as if someone pushed me down the stairs and jumped on my head. Throw up viruses lingering around, a child puking into my hands.
I am sorry, I genuinly am. It's funny how I feel sorry for my body but never felt so sorry for my heart. It did a good job too but now it needs a rest I guess. I can't ask, it's shut down. Sleep mode.
I have no idea what is really going on.