Plunge

i am sitting in this cafe, nothing really reminds me of Paris but it's a Crepe cafe, free internet. They give coffee away today because it's their first anniversary. I said, that sucks, or ok, ok, I might have said 'you guys suck! What should the healthy people do? I would love to have some tea!' And the bartender got so pissed. 'We don't have to give away anything' he said angrily. And I am such a coffee junkey. Long day.
There are these two women sitting right next to me and a couple is whispering cosy words into each other's ears. Love.
The women are talking about something, somehow connected to the 'business'. Film.
The brunette totally tries to come across as professional and unfazed. You have to, you HAVE to pretend that you are IT, here in Hollywood.
I know this feeling.
Something reminded me of France when I walked up here. Something about the way I walked and felt. Something that told me that one day I will live there, even though it's so far now. SO far.

I moved into this new house today. Decided to pay more and finally have a room of my own. Have a middle. A balance. A center point around which I can evolve. Revolve. Devolve. Volvo, and me snuggled up to your arm. Yes. And the nanny father's respond to my 'own-room-decision' was 'You held your hands for a four year old when he puked (I didn't want him to puke in the car so I had him puke into my hands) you don't need to live with a bulimic'. It sounded mean in a way but I knew what he meant and I couldn't stop laughing when I skated home.
They'll give me curtains. And a big brass bed.
This couple is really sweet. It makes me be in love with them, to watch them be so cosy and so fazed and so amazed. It's crazy.

I think that those two women are an actress and an agent or something like that.
Business.

This girl looks so great. How she is snuggled up to him. I can't believe it. It's so intimate. In a Cafe. And it's so great. I love her. I love her because she reminds me of myself. I looked like that. Trust me, I did. I learned how to. It came natural. Like a smile. All of the sudden. Like a lightening bolt. Making me bold. Daring to love. Plunging into this abyss of love.

Heights.
Depths.

I love you