the cube

once there had been a cube. made of wood.
six sides, four options: yes, no, crazy, reason.
it had a story to it. it made it all the way to America, into your hand in your car, and yet maybe you never heard it: a friend of mine and i had traveled to many a foreign country hiking through the land on the quest for a life beyond consumerism and convenience.
a life, rife with adventure, beauty, surprise, efforts and rewards, and mostly, very very hospitable people and their breathtaking cultures.
every year we decided along the way to part for a couple of days in little groups of two or three people to go on adventures of our own.
in Estonia this friend of mine and I decided to go together. this time around, however, we wanted to be completely surprised by what might come so that we used a coin to decide which roads to take. and so we did and it took us on a breathtaking trip that has its whole own story to it. we were offered to take a sauna at a farm where we could sweat out finally all the dirt of the dusty roads, we were taken on a tiny little pathway that almost disappeared among the fierce growing of bushes and trees in the forest to a patch of rasberries which felt like a real reward after taking the inconvenient road that late in the afternoon.
finally we were led, by consistently flipping the coin, to an old car graveyard where a man lived who offered us not only a BED to sleep in, but also ice cream and a ride to the ocean in the morning. he would have even taken us in his little airplane that he had built, but we politely declined.
as much as all this has to sound crazy to you if you think of a world full of predators and ugliness, it wasn't like that at all and we felt safe all along the way, at least i did, and that even though this man of course asked me to marry him since he was so delighted that i could speak russian and all.

after this amazing adventure my friend made this cube for me, adding the options of 'crazy' and 'reason' because our flipping the coin had shown us how limiting two sides could be.

And then you took it away.
You said, life is against me, I can't leave you that cube. It will take you away from me'
So I let you have it, and I stayed, yes I even stayed longer than I thought I ever would and I guess you lost it or maybe you hid it somewhere in Orange..

I don't know if it was something like self-fulfilling prophecy what then happened or if it was all written down a long time ago or maybe this cube had magic powers that it excercised when it got cut off from me. But you took yourself away from me and now I am alone without cube, without you - leaving me only with my lessons learned.

Tonight you asked the unaskable, blunt, as it is, and when I flipped my chinese gold coin it said three times DON'T GO.
And even tho, I really would have loved to know, I knew it was right.
It is now me and the coin again. No options of crazy or reasonable actions. Just plain and simple: Yes or No.
And so it goes...