For a moment I could see it unfolding - I could see myself walk that path, grow professionally, become that person, step into a certain kind of greatness, a path that feels incidental, random, chosen and destined all in the same time.
But there is more than that.
The moment I realized the need to sharpen the pencil, when what I want is paint with my hands, was when I saw it all transform in front of my eyes. I can't deny my artistic nature. I can't deny that I love to do things the way I want to do them. I can't deny, that polished is not my mark.
I have to step into more chaos, messy creativity, stormy action. Then I can refine and dive and use all the tools I have acquired here. But I can't keep on forever going only on that path. I don't see how I can channel all this through one needle's eye. It seems almost impossible.
There is way more open.
But there is more than that.
The moment I realized the need to sharpen the pencil, when what I want is paint with my hands, was when I saw it all transform in front of my eyes. I can't deny my artistic nature. I can't deny that I love to do things the way I want to do them. I can't deny, that polished is not my mark.
I have to step into more chaos, messy creativity, stormy action. Then I can refine and dive and use all the tools I have acquired here. But I can't keep on forever going only on that path. I don't see how I can channel all this through one needle's eye. It seems almost impossible.
There is way more open.
No comments:
Post a Comment