Emeralda, what do you think about ...

"Emeralda, do you believe it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? I would love to hear your thoughts on this." ----- Unfortunately my mac suppresses the link-link, so I have to post it manually: this above question the wonderful Laurzeilei (sounds like a dwarf-princess's name!) at www.watchthethinker.blogspot.com asked me in one of her comments.

My thoughts on this are:

Do you think you should make love on exctasy although you know that probably anything after that just won't be as fucking awesome like this?
I personally don't want to. Might have to do with me being just generally not interested in drugs too much. But then again, if everybody says it's so amazing, why would you want to miss it?
I don't want to go there. I don't wanna trade all the good love making for a couple of blasts. you know?

But I would immediately say: better loved and lost than never loved! spit out in a second, like a machine gun's fire, ratatatatatatata, no seconds thoughts. straight.

Does that make me incoherent? Inconsequential? Contradicting? Paradox? Yeah, whatever. It's all we are, isn't it. How frightening to meet someone who is strictly and only coherent, like Kant in his philosophy, scary, scary.
I think life is like a river meandering it's way through the flatlands and mountains. Creating new shores, breaking through loops, creating loops, breaking through. So is love.

When we think we have lost we have only lost the immediate confirmation and transmitter of love. The one we wanted to share with, the one who rekindled our love, the one who set us in fire, the one who took care of our garden, the one with whom we wanted to grow love, like a child.
But if we truly think that we lost love we are just too caught up in pain to see that in actuality it is merely transforming. It's not like love stops and waits for us. It evolves and if we can't find it's traces in our souls we might think we lost track of it while it is still there, lingering in the air, changing it's ways, breaking through loops, creating new shorelines.....while our grief over the loss of this opportunity to transform and elevate love WITH the person of our choice creates new lines in our faces....

Songs are great to paint emotions and make them oh so tangible. But truth be told? They are not the truth, just part of it. Like Bob Dylan's "I threw it all away"
I remember sitting there with my love and thinking "he says it all and because he warns us, we are not going to throw this away!!!!"

He sings: 'Love is all there is, it makes the world go 'round,
Love and only love, it can't be denied.
No matter what you think about it
You just won't be able to do without it.
Take a tip from one who's tried."

while this is true in General and certainly roots for rather choosing the loss AND love than no love at all, he goes on:

So if you find someone that gives you all of her love,
Take it to your heart, don't let it stray,
For one thing that's certain,
You will surely be a-hurtin',
If you throw it all away.

And this is true only for a moment. This is true for the period of pain. But if the wheel has to roll on it has to roll on. It's okay to lose when you don't lose the connection. If you don't lose track of love. If you don't miss the moment of when love transforms by itself, without the help of you and your lover, when it takes you to this other level all by yourself. It is sad but it is what it is. It is a gain in a loss. A chance in a tragedy. A spark in the dark. A way of getting stronger...

:)

so much for the wise words... and now I'll go back to grieving and stuff.... ;))