Backstabbers Do This

"Like Cain and Abel, Caesar and Brutus, Jesus and Judas,
Backstabbers do this

Forgive them father for they know not what they do
Forgive them father for they know not what they do

It took me a little while to discover
Wolves in sheep coats who pretend to be lovers
Men who lack conscience will even lie to themselves, to themselves
A friend once said, and I found to be true
That everyday people, they lie to God too
So what makes you think, that they won't lie to you"
(Lauryn Hill, 'Father Forgive Them')

It's not like anyone is free from that, I suppose.
I lied to myself before.
She must be lying to herself because she is acting as if nothing happened, her fucking beam baam baam smile sticks like glue in my face, smashed into my peace of mind, starteling me like error404 reappearing, more annoying than ever before.
Does she really think that that was okay? It's not about THAT they asked me to ... or lets face it, that they kicked me out of the house, it's about the WAY they did it. Motherfucking pussies.
I'm almost schizophrenic trying to understand and justify the actions of two people who I had considered to be almost my only friends here in LA. No matter how I try to turn it and no matter how much I know that it REALLY is for the better I can't get over the fact that what they did was matter of factly backstabbing me.

It's crazy, really. There is a way to do it and then there is a way how not to do it. And then there are beliefs of all sorts and expectations. But isn't there a fine line that defines a certain moral that applies to all of us, given a certain similar background and living situation???
Am I Fucking Tripping?
I am so naive.
I really. I really shit. Man. I believed them to be my friends. That really hurts. It sucks. But truth hurts, they say.