happy without you

It's like, I could be so happy without you because I have been happy before you and it would be so easy to not be considerate and it would be so easy to not miss you as much and it would be so easy to be completely free of any bonds and obligations, it would be so easy without you
at first glance
It's like, I could have been happy without you before i knew you and before you turned around and became my prince, layer for layer you revealed a little more and now I am completely yours, i am your queen I am your all and I am your now and your tomorrow
but the past bothers me and all the other sides
and i feel like crying in the afternoon haze
and i feel like drifting away and you are my only drift wood I could hold onto
I would keep on floating with you even if there was a water fall
because falling with you would be less beautiful and hitting the ground probably would be fatal but oh so meaningful
and i feel like I forget about who you are
just so you could become the moon again
in the dawn
shimmering so seductively silver like a mocking smile in the eye of the night sky
just so you could become this yearning again
in the night and boiling hot afternoons
that bring the sweat out and made me feel so dizzy and desperate in the search for a well or a fountain
and you could become the mountains and the ocean again, calling me from far away
and the sweet melody of a heart throbbing violin around the corner of the river flowing so mysteriously gently and yet fatally destined to meet the sea
you could become the smile again of a stranger passing by and the wonderment of the what if
you could become the thing again that i was looking for in every one I met, gazing into their, eyes, hoping to meet your soul
it makes me desperate to have found and not to have lost
it makes me so afraid that the lost is yet to come
and it makes me so afraid that the found hasn't come yet
and then i black out
and wake up in your arms, in your smile, in your sweet morning love and care
and wonder where I were

all this time