friday night in hollywood

too many tourists that drive me nuts. a lot of absurdly dressed up chicks, both, locals and tourists who think that hollywood indeed glitters like gold. you gotta pump it baby. whatever. akwardly I hurry past them like a fleeting shadow pretending to be gone. i sympathize with the bums and punks. but they don't even notice me, i am in limbo, i suppose they just see the dollar bill in case i would take it out of my pocket. well, tonight it'll stay there, companeros and companeras, i am on tight budget myself. and if you don't wanna take my smile so be it. i won't blame you.
the italian cafe changed ownership. Yonni tries to be all hip and different... the secludedness that my sorry maverick ass loved so much about it is gone now. well, i've seen that happening before. the other cafe with a real touch to it was our cafeteria at school and see how they butchered it into a corporate America misfuck. oh well. Nevertheless I stop for a chat with what was his name and slightly annoyed I notice the English poet sitting out there, too. He tries to get into a conversation. Last time i saw him when redhead was with me. Good old times. But tonight I don't feel very much like talking to strangers. Thanks though, very much for trying to add some intellectual touch to the neighborhood but I think I was doing great without that. LA can't be New York honey. It never will. And your bulletin on film making sure is fucking awesome, I take that for granted, you wouldn't even have to say that yourself. Incroyable.
The girls went up Runyon Canyon to drink some wine on top of the hill, overviewing the city. I know that it is beautiful and I know I maybe should have gone with them. What makes me such a loner anyways? Always independently and unsealed dropping in and out of parties, conversations, 'hang-outs'. Like a cat - nobody complains anymore. When I want to go and read it doesn't mean I am depressed. It means I want to read instead of sitting in a hot tub, oh yeah. If I want to play guitar in the room without anybody hearing me I just need to do that. I don't know why. Otherwise a very fun comrade - so they say - I just can't bring it at times. Just leave me the fuck alone. Loners will be loners there is nothing you can do to convert us. really.
I think the most akward thing about me was always how I would sit down after clubbing, at 5 or 6 AM and read very focused and concentrated the newspaper, sipping my tea away. Elissa used to marvel and laugh at that all the time. It wouldn't matter how many people were around me. I would just sit down and read and get lost - the rest of the world just faded away. Hello? hello! are you there?
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Weirdo, maverick.
Friday night in Hollywood 11 PM and I am going to sleep now. Does that mean I am getting old or just a little weirder?
Or maybe I just wait for you to come and sleep next to me. I know you want it so bad, too. You got back to your old stupid not sleeping patterns. I wish you would come back to just watch me sleep in the moonlight. Remember?