at the verge of red

she covers herself up and restlessly turns from one side to the other. lamentations in her mind. but but but. it is that i want. still. crave. you. ya. y. oh my.
red-golden locks fall from her head almost down to the floor while LA gardeners take off the pretty looking beards of the palm trees on Sunset Blvd. tchuck tchuck tchuck down they fall, on the street and the sidewalks it looks like heavy rain.
so now she says exactly the words I would have told anybody else in my position. she says and her green blue eyes sparkle mysteriously: you are hurting. there is a moment when you have to let go completely because otherwise you will cling onto something unhealthy. you create drama although you dont want it because that gives you the impression that there are still things to be worked out between you guys. its not true.
ah, if the truth just wouldnt be so blatantly obvious, huh?
all the palm trees are shaved now and look like pathetic little brushes in Mr. Mallys painting studio. Just one is left behind.
But I still want to cry. Cry, cry, cry, a river maybe.
Its pathetic I know she sighs and looks to the side and there is something shimmering in her eyes silver grey like silver linen.
You will never find your way back out if you dont leave.
It doesnt help anybody when you bath in negativity.
Let love be truly unconditional.
Let it grow and expand.
Embrace him from a higher level.

Hahaha.

Words like heavy rain fell and in silence alone I hang my head and cry. I know that we werent meant to be forever but still I cry. I dont know why. I just cry whenever I pray for you. And now that my phone is dead I feel a strange sense of liberation floating through my body: free at last - I miss you so.