the storm

it is quiet, strangely, like before a storm but I don't expect it.
sleeping is a welcome escape and dry tears are kept in the powder section. Powder instant sorrow, I might sell that.
scribbling irritantly yet compulsively lost inate memories into a virtual black hole. nothing returns but nothing gets lost either. like Einstein already said, energy can't just disappear. it's always there, somehow, somehow, like you and I smile in a tired fashion thinking of how you said why do you always make me feel so bad when I cried and I maybe should have said, because you love me and I love you and it hurts and what about how you made and make me feel.
but now there is silence, like in a graveyard only occasional crows hop down their ways and write strange calligraphic symbols into the sky where they fly like air-acrobats.
it is very calming and very easing and very strange, this quietness before the storm. i dont' know whether it will come i hope not. maybe with a new hair cut comes a new life and the past is nothing but a bundle of errors, humanity errs, yes, yes, and oh it was pretty and it was beautiful and there might have been meaning but now it is cloaked in misty moisty autumn time.
indeed, it would be nice without this quite possible storm. ... it is nice at the beach and the waves crush in eternally it is so comforting, so nourishing too. like sand slowly ripples through my toes you and our memories trickle through my heart and my mind and my body, faint like autumn leaves unexpectedly discovered in spring time. a chapter, closing, like a good book but you realize there might be more out there. oh yeah, it hurts to think this way and anger and rage and wrath sing and dance a passionate dance under the full mooned sky. moaning and groaning, screaming into hell. where is my mind, ring the bell...
but even this gets distant and it gets lost and my thoughts wander far off, into the horizon, the blue line that separates sky from ocean, heaven from earth and there is no haven for me.
like golden ambush ray reminders fleet through the air, the water and greet the skin. foreigner you, stranger, stranger you are so far so far. somewhere, I dream, you stand, looking into the ocean, dreaming of me