not usually

i am not usually doing this.
daring, to be definite about something. we just talked about that at university. how back in the sixties Rudi Dutschke studied here and how the sociology department was one of the most influential and important ones in Germany. They are shedding that very department now; economical considerations, the BA/MA system has footed now as well over here and education is foremost means to qualifying for jobs, rather than for human becomings, in the sense of Humboldt.
we talked about, how our young prof's generation, not very long ago, demonstrated against this development but couldn't come through because their protest wasn't unified and their perspectives overwhelmed by all the different aspects of information available in a more and more globalized world.
and, we talked about, how my generation is considered LAME, to put it in mundane words, not daring to speak up, - mostly concerned about job safety and well, family.
we also considered the different factors playing into this perception and how we see our reality.
how we've studied and seen, at the example of our parents and grandparents, how they tried to make a change and seemingly didn't come through. How little we really can change and how much our world has changed. How all the available information and knowledge of interconnectedness and global dependencies and realities can paralyze us, as individuals.
We hear every day about the terrible things happening in this, our world.
At home, abroad, within families, communities, countries.
Naturally, so the assumption, we retreat to depression, apathy, egoism. - If I can't change the world, at least I'll change MY personal world to the funnest degree I possibly can.

I have this hate-love relationship with critical thought. On the one side, it is part of me. On the other hand - sometimes I wish, I just could take a stance, for once, for fuck's sake and not always have this little voice pop up in my head saying, but, look at the other side.
Sometimes, I just want to be young, idealistic, passionate. Believe, in what I say and do.
Orientation, has become difficult.

So now, let me say something, for once. For God's sake. Let me say this: First of all, even though our parent generation might have failed in reaching their guiding stars, they still directed our ship into the direction we find ourselves in now.
Credit, where credit is due.
If the feminists, who I often act so annoyed about, hadn't done what they did, I wouldn't have been able to vote in any election, German or US American.
If their hadn't been any passionate student revolts in Germany in the sixties, our university system would still be very different from what it is today. Maybe not dramatically, but still. They came after a time of trial and error, of a most disturbing kind of ideology and idealism gone wrong. They HAD to be so idealistic and passionate about their cause to counter that energy. Maybe there could have been a 'softer' kind of revolution, but it was almost bound to happen, or so it seems.
Benno Ohnesorg died 1967 in one of the student revolts. Many others on many different fronts have died ever since. Life ain't no joke, sometimes.
My generation takes many things for granted, that these people fought for. It's so easy to forget, on a couch.

Secondly - let me say something entirely unusual for my indecisive self: riding home from watching the election night in the States at a Berlin cinema, I suddenly thought 'this is not Generation 0, these are not the 'tens' or 'zero years' that people try to label this decade for lack of a better term such as 'the twenties' or 'sixties'. This is Generation Obama, after all'
Why am I saying this?
Well, I called my dad. I said, Dad, we have Obama for President. My dad was quick to jump in with all kinds of critical reflections on that, and how we have to wait and see if deeds will follow. Quite honestly, he brought the mood down good.
Usually I care a lot about what my dad says, and I also care about critical reflection. But for once I stepped back and made the decision to write this down.
Dad, for a minute it shall be YOUR generation's task to be critical. You've seen two Kennedys die. You've been in the student revolts, you've hitchhiked through Europe down to Turkey, you've battled the demons of your Nazi parents and you have been disillusioned by the 'march through the institutions' and politics.
You go and be skeptic, critical, reflected, cautious to not be too enthusiastic and passionate about anything.
Because that's what you should do.
But I want to take this energy, and let gravity take care of the rest.
I want to revel in the FEELING, that someone has brought so many people to action, to get them involved, engaged, creating a new FRAME for efforts, that have been and will be made all along: not to fight together AGAINST something, but together FOR something. That it makes sense, to get involved and participate and be engaged.
That it makes sense to fight for a better place, a better world, even though, in time, we might realize that we are still fighting against the windmills.
At least, this will give us new wind and direction and purpose, to direct and sail our ship a little further into the direction of our guiding star.