oh how bad it hurts, you all know, you who had bladder infections before.
the thing is... physical pain beams you right back to earth. physical pain, for some reason, is so less ignorable than emotional or spiritual pain. the emptiness of a mind, the stabbing of the soul can all be covered up by physical activity. Drink yourself consciousless. Watch TV. Eat. Have sex. do something, go jogging. Don't think. Don't ask. Try to make your heart indifferent...
Ah but physical pain is so there.
So I sit down, drink tons of water and cranberry juice, all warm and packed into tons of blankets, starting to read. finally.
On love. 'Nature of love' by Andrew Dib Sherfan, on Kahlil Gibran's love as it appears in his writings.
I dive into it and forget the world and the pain around me. Except for when I have to use the bathroom. Damn those bakteria. I freaking knew that I am inclined to bladder infections and that I always, always should use the bathroom after sweet love making. But sometimes, at times....It is so mindblowlingly exhausting that I can just lay there and look at the sky ot the ceiling or his face and then dream away...
But love.
Universal love, that breaks the walls we build, that exceeds the limited love we force upon us by condemning our heart to only love our children and lovers and family and friends, universal love is what it is all about
many tears I cried and many dreams I dreamt to finally reach out
I remember
but no tears today.
Now it will be about action
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