wrong

so i come back from that stupid rehearsal that in the end even didn't happen. great. tired i lay down on the couch and just drift away in my thoughts, tired as i am. there is no more drama. i had a wonderfully soothing conversation with the red haired lady (the other one) and i am just too tired, there are no more tears right now.

calmly i just reflect on you and how wonderful you are and how much i wish you could enjoy me just like that. i look wonderful tonight. yet another waste of beauty. it doesn't happen to often, that I feel beautiful like that. You are missing.
but even that doesn't bring the flood of salty tears back. I am just feeling it.

and then all of the sudden I feel how. it is simply wrong.
It just feels wrong somehow. there was something more. i can't put my finger on it. we were supposed to be together for at least another year. there was a lot. we shouldn't let a book take over. surrender to songs.
it feels wrong

just wrong

and this, i am serious, without the least sense of drama or tragedy. it just does.