I guess there are thousands of different ways to honor sacredness. Unfortunate, at times, it is still beautiful. I lean back and look at them and smile: it is your turn now, sweetie, and I will take my needs a step back.
This is your time and just because it was so special for me it doesn't mean it will be as special for you. And maybe it is special for you but I can't grasp it.
So I lay down and look at the stars, framed by the incredibly strong rocks, they give me such a feeling of safety, it is amazing. This is the magic bay and before I let them come here I told them that this place is very special to me and its sacredness needs to be honored.
There is almost never a moment of silence. They chat and laugh and even take pictures and flirt and laugh loudly about really stupid not funny jokes. I am slightly annoyed. The shooting stars, the crushing of the waves, the sound of raven wings slapping in the wind above us, the milky way's distand murmuring...Don't you hear that????
So I go back and there is no word of thank you for sharing they just probably didn't get it. And why should they? It was special to me because I am me. I am not from here. It was the first place here where I connected to the land. I felt how the spirit of the land reached out and touched me. This is where I first kissed you my love. This is where I left a candle for you tonight. But nobody knows and the ocean will take the candle soon and claim its rights.
Never have I been as annoyed about laughing and talking as this night. Oh my God. I talk myself too much a lot of the times, well, and when something appears sacred to ME I sure know how to behave to honor that in MY way. So I guess it is all very individual. I know my sisters and my very good friends do it the same way. Nature speaks to us at times and we bow our heads in awe and honor silently the beauty of God's creations. Then maybe we sing a song and its melody will weave itself beautifully in the air.
The fifteen year old was especially annoying. Wow. How old I felt.
I really missed you wife and your knowledge of when a word is needed and when silence and when to play piano. I missed our sparse conversations on the couch with turkish coffee and nothing much to say. I miss the hours at the pool - we just knew how to enjoy in silence. Draw. Talk for a little while. Swim...
I really missed you my love, and your way of weighing words like gold. Your precious words in my mouth and your silent eyes and your holding me.
It occured to me that sometimes it seems as if people can't stand too much sacredness anymore. AS if it is too much to bare in silence and worship. Sometimes it makes me hate this "fun-society" in which everything has to be fun first. If you allow the moment to unfold you will see the most beautiful flowers in your soul.
But no time for that. Adventures are created, a good time confiscated.
Holiness doesn't find hosts so much anymore. It is reserved for lonely hours or certain ceremonies, accurately packed away in boxes.
Where is the sacredness, the holiness in our daily lives? The profane and the sacred? Where is the courage to fight for this space to open up to it? Who to take those aspirations seriously?
Sometimes burnt people know better when to be silent.
1 comment:
Very nice. I can related to your experience. Being in a special place, which for me in this case is just about anywhere in nature, is spiritual and calming. When I choose to take people with me in hopes that they share a similar experience, I end up irritated at the constant talking and the lack of awareness of what is, and can be, taking place at the moment. I need to learn not to be that way I suppose. As you said it's all up to the individual. As I continue sharing these moments with friends and loved ones, I'm hopeful that it will eventually "click" and they'll go to a place they've never been before, and then understand what I've been talking about for so long.
Your writing is inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
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