a pathetic call into the wilderness

pathetic how i still sit and how i still grieve. ben said, this is happiness right there! men are like this!
how are they?
people are strange.
and a pathetic call into the wilderness of my wildy romantic and hurt heart. i try to understand, both, fate, and you and the chapter.
oh it never worked my way because you never let it be my way. and now it won't work either because my way is not our way. ah, did you see that?
i can't move anymore. it is terribly pathetic. we talk so much. reassure that everything is still ok.
she leaned over to me because she was worried about my apathy. 'you know what, she said, we are all fucked up and you know what? it's ok.'
it's not ok. i don't wanna be fucked up. i wanna be straight and walk my talk and my path.
but you, you, you, you are somewhere.