Russia and US

Funny how the cold-war division 'Russia - US' reflects now in my own life...

In Russia 2000 I was shocked because I realized how big my room was at home. Granted, it sucked, it was a through room, so my sister had to go through my room everytime she wanted to go into her room. I had to play her guard when she had forbidden sex so I could warn her in case my parents inquired about her doings. But Natashja and her mother lived in an apartment that was as big as my little room at home and they shared the bathroom with the rest of the apartment building. Natshaja was 16 and slept right next to her mother. I shared a room half the size of my room with two family members of my hostfamily. The parents and the grandfather slept in the living room. During the day we converted the beds that took all space of the room during night into couches. There was still enough space to juggle between the desk and the couch and the tv. The kitchen was so small, we never ate together since we couldn't fit into their all at once.

It kind of put things really into perspective. I started to appreciate things I had taken for granted. At home we counted as poor, lower middle class. With every new salary my parents tried to fix the hole in the account. I grew up not knowing how it feels to have money in an account since we were always in debts. But we survived and I can't praise my upbringin enough. My parents invested in me instead of into an account. Travelling, education, music instruments. No TV. For a long time no computers. No fancy clothes or toys. As a kid, sure, sometimes I would envy my friends or feel embarrassed or stupid. But now I can't emphasize enough how happy I am about their decisions.

In the US 2006 - I am shocked because I realized that I DO have a problem with filthy rich people.
Never thought I had. But this family... I am their new nanny....This house... I can't get over it. It freaks me out, more than Natshja's circumstances. Or maybe it just freaks me out because I know Natashja and her life. This family has twins, 3 1/2 year old boys. A housekeeper. A HUMONGOUS house with a salt water pool in the gorgeous backyard. The father has a studio in the backyard house. They have furniture that could be in a museum if you ask me, all very nice and all wooden and so precious and antique and expensive. Very beautiful, but who lives there??? Everything just supersized and amazingly stunningly beautiful. Almost perverted. Almost. Heart wrenchingly unbelievable.
I couldn't stop thinking about my mother and how she brought the five of us up in a little apartment. No dryer. No dishwasher. Laundry machine in the basement. Three stairs every time. There was a lot of laundry. At some point she gave ironing up. Those shirts that don't wrinkle were the coolest motherfucking invention, they were the shit. As soon as my oldest sister was old enough to babysit there were no babysitters anymore. She had a job. She kept the house clean, or made us clean it which was a job in itself. She never had time for herself or never took it and maybe that's what makes me mad.

because..there is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself as a mother, it is a right, it should be a MUST. But this woman works from home.. Part time... Why does she need me???
Why?
I mean, it is good money for me but I have to admit that I really have to come to terms with that. My sister lives maybe 15 min south of this family and she REALLY needs help. But she can't pay me. now how fucked up is that.