sun

sun shine outside and in my face. the green shadows of the leaves dance slowly, as if in trance. i hear a harmonica calling and tears of joy gather in the corner of my eye. 'Look, look, this is my Mom when she was small!'
A perfect little doll, standing in front of her pioneer dad, barely reaching his knees, little curly hair framing an adorable face with button eyes and a perfect little smile, her hands folded in front of her little flower dress.
My Grandmother so beautiful, with a baby on her arm. It means so much to me, to show this to him.
We both feel how relief lightens the burden of being friends. We joke around and enjoy the transitional phase. I don't know whether it will ever change. I missed his embrace in my sleep but he slept deep and well and that makes me happy. But last night, when I sank into his arms we both felt how perfect it was. And when I said it, I meant it, from the bottom of my heart.
But there he goes, still not so sure as to what he really wants to do and I think you should take this job at the school.
My life, changing around, building schedules around his, as always, priority number one. Realising how much time that must have taken from everything. It is good how it is. It is wonderful how it is. How he is back in my life. It is wonderful to have him in my life, no matter what happens and how often I will see him. It is simply wonderful. I love his presence. I love to be around him. With him. Towards him. Yeah. And he knows how to touch me, in every respect.
It is the sun rising in my dark heart.
It is the morning calling.
It is the moment when the flower dies and whithers away to give way to the seeds.
It is what it is.