Change is scary and uncomfortable. It is a bitch, because it comes unprepared, other change that I anticipated creeps up to me in the wee morning hours when the dawn riddles my existence. The eternal struggle to attain and maintain balance weighs so many of us down, luring us in all kinds of extremity just like it happened to pamino in the 'magical flute' by Mozart when he had to go through the fire and the ice to break through to his own truth, finally. Sittin' on the dock of the bay comes to me, bringing back memories of another lifetime, inciting dreams of what is yet to come.
Sharing the most intimate moments in this space has become hard, first I started molding and forging more, creating as I have with my art installations back in the day but then I made the mistake to let too many people know about this sacred place and the awareness of possibly judgemental eyes put yet another layer on this cage and I keep trying to break through. To who?
Funny, how in the hassle sometimes we forget to ask the right questions.
Change doesn't come slowly, it does, it does, but the actual straw that breaks the camel's back seems so evergreen. In the midst of the whole load still improbable. Unexpected. Outrageous and different.
Letting go of the old picture and putting the new one in is the most trivial of acts conceivable and yet, it pinpointed the change, it hurt and doubted, it wasn't the same.
But I have to go there, I have to go.
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